"Get a vibrator", "try from above", "pump up intimate muscles" – standard tips for mind-blowing orgasms. But for some reason they do not work with everyone and not always.
Yes, you are perfectly normal
An orgasm is an orgasm, no matter how you get it – with oral sex, with hand stimulation, with vibrators, and sometimes from sucking your toe. Obsession with vaginal orgasm is nothing more than a manifestation of sexism. Every woman has her own sexuality, unique as a fingerprint. So don't try to judge yourself by the experience of your friends. We are different – and this is normal. Have fun the way you know how and as the body suggests.
In 80-90% of people, stress dulls sexual interest. The best way to deal with stress is to allow the body to fully complete the cycle of reaction to it. Not to drown out the fear, but to deceive it – to do something that relaxes your body (for example, yoga, manicure, self-massage, breathing exercises, beauty treatments). Restless thoughts about work or your figure also slow down the process. Women can "build up immunity" to self-critical thoughts by practicing various self-esteem-enhancing techniques. For example, it is useful to stand in front of a mirror and name the parts of your body that you are proud of.
Everything that happens in everyday life (external context) affects a woman's arousal. The brain perceives sensations differently depending on the context. For example, if you are playfully tickled by a partner, you are pleased. If someone you are angry with does this, you will become even more inflamed. The action is the same, but the context is different, hence a completely different perception. The pleasure of context is what an orgasm is. That is, no matter which parts of the body are stimulated, the process is the same: orgasm is a sudden release of sexual tension. This knowledge gives a huge field for experiments with sensuality – in a good context, you can learn to transfer orgasms to the G, A or U points and painlessly engage in anal sex. For most, the ideal context for sex = low stress + admiration for the partner + erotic environment.
Love below the belt
From time immemorial, women are shy of the genitals. In the Middle ages, anatomists called our genitals pudendum (from Latin pudere – to be ashamed) – something that is awkward to show. But there is also good news! It is scientifically proven that women who have accepted their body have stronger orgasms and more intense desire. We assure you: your genitals are beautiful. Remember that images of genitals in porn are retouched to look "neat"; do not think that the vulva is actually so symmetrical.
Meet the clitoris
Only 30% of women are able to orgasm during vaginal sex without additional stimulation. The most common way to get pleasure is to stimulate the clitoris. So take a mirror (you can use the camera on your phone) and refresh your memory of what the Central station of your sensuality looks like.
The observer encourages you to explore new things. To increase sexual desire in a relationship, add novelty, uncertainty, and saturation to it (do everything that makes your heart beat faster!).
Turn on "slatshame control»
Are you "shamed", shamed, insulted for your sexuality?
How to deal with this - this will help psychologist-sexologist Elena Yershova:
How do you feel about it: They think badly of me. I'm sure others judge me, even when they don't say anything to my face. I find it difficult to rely only on my own decisions, I need support. Letsemeng makes too much to doubt yourself.
What to do: you have so many thoughts from other People that they all drown you out. A reason to think: why do someone's words have such power over you? Freedom in clothing is appropriate – perhaps you just need to look for a style with a specialist and study fashion trends. This will help strengthen your position with the help of other authorities. Try to ask yourself right now: what would you like most at this moment? You need to get to know yourself.
How do you feel about it: they tell Me that I somehow dress differently, communicate, take photos.I feel depressed because of such criticism. I listen to the words of others not always, according to the situation. But I try to look decent, I might be wrong.
What you should do: it's time to grow up, which means listening to yourself. Sexuality and its manifestations are one of the basic human needs. It is not necessary to overly stick out, for example, in the work process, but also to be ashamed or feel guilty, awkward for the fact that you are sexy, too, is not worth it. For those who are used to being a good and always obedient girl, the roots of the problem should be found in childhood.
How do you feel about it: I am forced to adapt to the opinions of others. I do what others want, so as not to quarrel. It's easy for me. But sometimes I feel like I'm losing something of value, your uniqueness. I feel a certain dissatisfaction.
What to do: Dissatisfaction arises from not meeting your own expectations, not the expectations of others. By constantly giving in, you are ruining your self: the self you want to be. You could become one if you respected your feelings and experiences. Sooner or later, your interests for others and for yourself will not be in the first place. Maybe it's time to increase the area of your own influence on life?
How do you feel about it: I behave, dress, and Speak as I see fit. If you don't like it, keep your opinion to yourself. I feel confident. Others may be whispering behind my back, but I don't care.
What should You easier than others to resist kathamandu, which is commendable. But isn't this confidence hiding the fear of a person who has experienced a lot of pain? What do you want to say by your actions, clothing, and manner of communication? Are you sure this isn't a way to protect yourself from criticism? Remember, you have a lot of beautiful things inside you and in addition to strength, and in other people there may be not only a threat, but also new opportunities.
How do you feel about it: Two natures are fighting in me – one wants to do as she sees fit, and the other wants not to be judged, it is easier for her to adapt to others. Sometimes the desire not to stand out wins out. But sometimes it's more important to Express myself, even when others think I look and act weird.
What to do: Internal duality prevents you from taking into account all your experience and needs, in particular – sexuality. If you want to support someone else – your partner or family – in their assessment of your personality, you give up a part of yourself, and the needs of the other are more important to you than your own. The balance of equality between the two parts is fragile. I suggest to understand those situations where it is important to conform to the opinion of others. Is it necessary? Maybe try to please yourself completely? The result is worth it!
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